My song lyrics...
I occasionally write song lyrics as another form of expression. I've even allowed one of my vampires, Bastian Evanko, to steal some of my songs and call them his own. (Check out my book, Nocturnal Surrender, below to see for yourself.) Here are a few of the songs I have written, including the one from Nocturnal Surrender. Most of these songs are dark and would probably sound best as hard and heavy rock. I could definitely picture Ryan McCombs or Corey Taylor singing some of these.
All lyrics and excerpts are copyright © Dawn Lorraine "Pearl" Wilhelm and may not be used or reproduced in any way.
All lyrics and excerpts are copyright © Dawn Lorraine "Pearl" Wilhelm and may not be used or reproduced in any way.
Not Good EnoughMy mind was broken long ago
Along with my heart and my soul The years haven’t eased the pain Or kept me from going insane The scars they run too deep Along with secrets that you keep My time is no longer my own Since the pain inside has grown And taken on a life of its own I wasn’t good enough for you Now I’m not good enough for me You stripped me of my pride And ripped away my sanity I wasn’t good enough to love Now I’m not good enough to care You made me hate my life And left me alone and scared And still there’s no one there But I will never let you see How much you shattered me I made this promise to myself I won’t give you anything else I hope someday you will know Just how it feels to be alone To be completely empty inside With no place for you to hide To be taken along for the ride I wasn’t good enough for you Now I’m not good enough for me You stripped me of my pride And ripped away my sanity I wasn’t good enough to love Now I’m not good enough to care You made me hate my life And left me alone and scared And still there’s no one there No matter how hard I tried It was never enough No matter how much I gave It was never enough No matter what I said It was never enough No it was never enough No I’m not good enough Not good enough I wasn’t good enough for you Now I’m not good enough for me You stripped me of my pride And ripped away my sanity I wasn’t good enough to love Now I’m not good enough to care You made me hate my life And left me alone and scared And still there’s no one there I know there will never be anyone there So why should I even care |
Would it Have Been so HardWhere were you when I needed you
What was I supposed to do When all you cared about, All you lived for, all you loved Was yourself When my world was falling apart And I opened up my heart Why did you leave me alone, Leave me afraid, leave me behind By myself Oh, where were you when I needed you Would it have been so hard Just to be there for me Would it have been so hard Just to remember me Would it have been so hard Just to care for me Yeah just to care for me Why weren’t you there for me Did you even see my tears Or acknowledge all my fears When all you dreamed about, All you wanted, all you needed Was for yourself Do you know the pain I’m in And that it was a sin To leave it up to a child, Leave me shattered, leave me broken All by myself Oh, did you even see my tears Would it have been so hard Just to be there for me Would it have been so hard Just to remember me Would it have been so hard Just to care for me Yeah just to care for me Why weren’t you there for me All the blackness in your heart Poisoned me All the hateful things you said Destroyed me All the madness in your eyes Terrified me Left me scarred, left me empty, You might as well have left me for dead Oh, where were you when I needed you Would it have been so hard Just to be there for me Would it have been so hard Just to remember me Would it have been so hard Just to care for me Yeah just to care for me Why weren’t you there for me Guess you will never be |
Devil Inside is featured in the book, Nocturnal Surrender. The song was written specifically for vampire rogue-turned-hero (sort of) Bastian Evanko. Toward the middle of this book, Bastian steps away from his job as bartender at his brother's nightclub, Nocturnal Surrender, to belt out this song with his friends in the band playing at the club that night. He wants to send a message to the vampire ex-Enforcer, Christof Rosenbaum, who beheaded Bastian's mortal fiancee 200 years ago.
Click on the book for purchase links. Nocturnal Surrender excerpt: Bastian ached to exact his revenge but vowed to do this smart. He’d find a way to justify his actions so he didn’t break the Elders’ Code. No more reacting without thinking. His rash decisions had cost him too much in the past. He had finally started to rebuild his life, and he had a chance at gaining Donovan’s trust. Besides, he couldn’t go back into exile now that he was seeing Nicole. Although they had only been together for a short time, he’d already felt her emerging love for him. Nothing was worth jeopardizing their relationship. Slow and steady, that’s the way he’d do this. Methodically, just like stalking prey. Only this victim was meant for vengeance. He would tear out Rosenbaum’s heart by letting him know how it feels to have someone he loves killed before his eyes. To watch helplessly. Until the day he could retaliate, Bastian had come up with a way to get his point across without rousing suspicion. He busied himself with work, and a few hours later, the pair still sat chatting and drinking. When it was finally time for Bastian’s break, he nodded to the band on the small stage at the front of the room. They’d finished their set only seconds earlier, right on schedule. Nate, the lead singer, pointed to Bastian, smiled, and then addressed the patrons. “Okay everyone, we’ve got a special treat for you tonight. I’m gonna sit this one out—” The room erupted in boos, but Nate continued. “Calm down. I promise you’ll love this. It’s my pleasure to welcome a good friend of mine, and your bartender, to the stage. Give it up for Bastian Evanko!” If it hadn’t been for keeping his mind focused on Rosenbaum and the woman, he might have been anxious about having earlier agreed to sing one song tonight. He truly was trying to lead a normal life, and befriending the house band had been a great stride for him. Bastian’s heart raced as he walked up to Nate and took the microphone. He’d rehearsed with the group twice but hadn’t performed in front of an audience for decades. Back in the ‘80s, actually, on one of the rare occasions he had dared to venture out into humanity, rebelling against his sentence from the Elders. Thankfully, no one had ever found out. He cringed at the thought of all the makeup, hairspray, and spandex. And that was the men. The memory of himself primped like the boys from Poison made him chuckle, and calmed his nerves a little. The spotlight burned his sensitive eyes, but after a moment he adjusted to its intensity and turned to give the band a grin. The amplifiers hummed in the background. People cheered and clapped, some even yelled his name. Live entertainment brought the typically sedate crowd to life once a week. Bastian did his best to keep his voice steady when he spoke. “Thank you. I want to sing you this little ditty I wrote called Devil Inside. It’s all about love, hate, and...retribution!” Shouts filled the air, electric guitars roared to life, and the double bass drum fired like a machine gun, drowning out the erratic beating of Bastian’s heart. Don’t forget the lyrics. Don’t forget the lyrics. He had a message to deliver, so screwing this up was not an option. Glowering at Rosenbaum, he took a deep breath, and sang, |
Devil InsideYou put me through a lifetime of hell
Kept me locked up inside your torture cell Isolation and desperation from love denied There was no safe place left for me to hide You used me, abused me, twisted the knife I don’t know how I escaped with my life Years of agony, years of pain…pain…pain I won’t stop until you feel the same…same Pain turned to anger then to venom for me to spew Now don’t be surprised when my devil inside comes for you Yeah don’t be surprised when my devil inside guns for you What you see in my eyes, that you despise, is because of you What I am inside, full of hatred and lies, it’s all from you So don’t be surprised when my devil inside Guns for you…guns for you…guns for you Fuck you too Now it’s my turn to put you through hell And lock you up for life inside my torture cell Your happiness and freedom will be denied There’ll be no safe place left for you to hide I’ll use you, abuse you, and twist the knife No way in hell will you escape with your life Years of agony, years of pain…pain…pain I won’t stop and I’ll feel no shame…shame Pain turned to anger then to venom for me to spew Now don’t be surprised when my devil inside comes for you Yeah don’t be surprised when my devil inside guns for you What you see in my eyes, that you despise, is because of you What I am inside, full of hatred and lies, it’s all from you So don’t be surprised when my devil inside Guns for you…guns for you…guns for you Fuck you too Pain turned to anger then to venom for me to spew Now don’t be surprised when my devil inside comes for you Yeah don’t be surprised when my devil inside guns for you What you see in my eyes, that you despise, is because of you What I am inside, full of hatred and lies, it’s all from you So don’t be surprised when my devil inside Guns for you…guns for you…guns for you Fuck you too Fuck you too Fuck you too No don’t be surprised when my devil inside guns for you Now I’m comin’ for you Yeah I’m gunnin’ for you Now I’m comin’ for you Yeah I’m gunnin’ for you FUCK YOU TOO |
Nothing Good to GiveLoneliness eats me alive
Years of hate I’ve kept inside Tearing, ripping, gnawing my brain Shuddering from all the pain Don’t know how long I can hold it down Makes me feel like I’m going to drown Screaming, running, going insane Wishing you would feel the same You took it all from me Innocence, love, and happiness Replaced it with something else Hatred, doubt, and blame Stripped me of my soul Until I was left with nothing, No nothing good to give Retribution drives me now Years of anger unleashed somehow Tearing, ripping, gnawing my brain Praying I can cause you pain I’m on the verge of losing control Your darkness has devoured my soul Screaming, running, going insane An evil no one could ever tame You took it all from me Innocence, love, and happiness Replaced it with something else Hatred, doubt, and blame Stripped me of my soul Until I was left with nothing, No nothing good to give Yeah you took it all from me Innocence, love, and happiness Replaced it with something else Hatred, doubt, and blame Stripped me of my soul Until I was left with nothing, No nothing good to give Oh there’s nothing, nothing No nothing good to give Don’t ask me to forgive Cause you left me with nothing, No nothing good to give Don’t ask me to forget Cause I’ve got nothing left No nothing left, no nothing left No nothing good to give |
Rising from the AshesStrip away all the years of pain
Rip apart my mind You’re tearing up my soul I’m losing all control And running around blind My heart no longer feels Good memories are fading fast Nothing is ever meant to last There’s no way we can heal From wounds that cut so deep But I swear, you won’t get the best of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes No you haven’t seen the last of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes I’m rising from the ashes of our love Strip away all the tears of pain Turn and walk away I’m taking back what’s mine It’s just a matter of time Yes I will have my day My heart won’t always ache There’s no way I’ll let you win You can’t wash away your sins One day I’ll watch you break From secrets that you keep And I swear, you won’t get the best of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes No you haven’t seen the last of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes I’m rising from the ashes of our love But I swear, you won’t get the best of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes No you haven’t seen the last of me I will rise from the ashes Rise up from the ashes I’m rising from the ashes Rising from the ashes Yeah I’m rising from the ashes of our love |
